Tell meee pleaseeeeeeeeee?

Ok so I have this guy neighbor lets say his name is rick.rick is 44 and im 15 and i was ten when i moved into the neighborhood and ever since then ive had the biggest crush on him and the feelings just grew. when i was 12 things started going on . he started actign weird. he told me he loved me and he held my hand and looked for any little excuse to touch me . i was so inlove with him & dont call me crazy but i still am . . . just everything about him i love . he always told me i wqas beautiful & he NEVER loved his wife hes only using herr for a roof over his head & he HAD to marry her bc he had kids with her . He held my hand right in front of her before !!! LEGIT right in front of her . I slept over their house before and he slept with me on the couch ! obsessed ? he would ALWAYS get pissed when i would talk about boys . it seems like i was his escape . Which i loved . Now im not . get to that shortly . His wife puts a ton of **** in his head . Shes a jealous person she drove me out of his life 3 times and i managed to get back. BC HE WANTED ME BACK . My feelings are so strong for him & u cant tell me im not in love with him bc i know i am . Hes the only person I think about during the day all of memories & everything . a few summers ago i was leaving his house from a cookout he kissed me right in front of his wife!!!!!! when i was sick he would always call to see how i was feeling . & then he made a facebook just to see what i was talking about . he would always drive by my house balring "remember the time " byy michael jackson . Likehes so handsome & just a great guy ( not to his wife ) about three days ago it was their anneversary and he was at work the whole day !!! HA and yesterday was fathers day & he was at workthe whollle day d cmae home at 6 oclock at night & got take out ? wtf kind of fathers day is that ? . He walks his kids to school sometimes with his wife & he walks either a mile behind her or a mile ahead of her. & when we went on day trips well me his wife and his daughters who absolutely loved me , He would want to go if i was there and if i didnt go he wouldnt go .he would make up thathe has to work so he didnt have to be with them . SO FUNNY . now we dont talk anymore . His wife told him many things about me and my family . & she took me off his facebook & wouldnt let him talk to me . But when ever she was at work and i walked by he would come outside or look out the window ? LMFAO she controls him like crazy bc she knows he loves me . & i ahvent talk to him almost a year now . I was so upset when i lost him . Every night i listen to music and look at his pictures . . I think about what couldve happened and what wouldve happened . he would always call me his angel . always . and it was his wifes birthday last year & he said shes getting too old and he needs to leave her for some young girll . ? lolll . i wish at 11:11 every night for him to come back in my life . and i pray that he still loves me . . Tell me what u think . & everytime i see him on the streets and he drives by me i look at him like hes a part of me and without him im missing . . dont call me crazy . bc ik my feelings . i just wish he was with me .I would give him anything .